7 || Text

[madteos]

[Matt's not a heavy drinker. Not by any stretch of the imagination. Most alcohol he's tried burns and he's not fond of his throat being on fire. Yeah I know, weirdo. Still, after being shot by Jinx and then embarrassed in front of Jael, he needed something to make himself feel better and not even his corn skittles were doing the trick.

SO he hopped on down to a bar and after about an hour of hesitation, started helping himself to the booze there. Some of it tasted like strawberries. Some of it tasted like grapes. And some of tasted like bacon fat. YUMMY.

ANYWAY, the following is a text post. Matt doesn't trust his voice, since he's sort of been at this for a while and he doesn't want his friends (or Jael) to know he's been drinking pretty heavily. But those of you that know him, would still be able to tell there's something off about Matty boy.]

th/ais this wont mak me siuck?

Comments

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

What won't make joo sick?

[madteos]

...

[Cue bad Spanish Accent.]

Jose Cuervo.

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

Dat depends den, how much have jah had?

[madteos]

[The bottles clink together.]

One...two...three. Four.

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

Yeah mon, dem gonna make joo sick.

[Because Kevas is having serious doubts that you're any good a drinking.]

[madteos]

Mebbe I should stop.

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

T'ink joo shoulda stopped t'ree bottles ago.

[madteos]

But I was tryin' to find one that tasted like ham.

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

Joo keep drinkin' and joo gonna be tastin' it all ovah again in da mornin'.

[madteos]

Ooooooh.

[Bottles clink.]

They're not all empty.

[He's actually only finished one bottle. He just been draining bottles to the halfway point before moving on.]

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

Joo...joo ain't even be finishin' dem?

[This horrifies him.]

[madteos]

[:O]

Should I?

[Cause he will! God help him, he will!]

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

[He better!]

Mon, joo gotta finish a bottle befuh joo go startin' on anoddah.

[Seriously Matt, don't you know the rules?]

[madteos]

[Oh! The bottles clink for a second and it takes a second for him to reply.]

Alright! Working on it!

[Good job, Kevas.]

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

Good, don't wanna waste any good liquah.

Joo should probably quit once joo be done wid dem.

[madteos]

Mmmkay.

[Matt is never going to drink around you, Kevas. Ever.]

[pimp-hat.livejournal.com]

[What are you talking about? Kevas is the best drinking partner ever! Not his fault Matt doesn't know how to drink.]

Next time just stick wid one bottle till jah know joo can hold joor liquah.